The joys of pregnancy...not

Don't let anyone fool you- pregnancy is no cakewalk, especially if you are expecting multiples. While I was lucky enough to escape the nausea of the first trimester, the second trimester was brutal and by the third, I was begging the babies to make an early appearance. I have groin pain, constant heaviness in the lower abdomen area, a stomach that looks as if it has been punched and pushed with purple bruise marks all over and I have had problems sleeping for the last 4 months. It is shocking how uncomfortable and abnormal it feels to be pregnant. You are no longer in control of your body. The belly grows, the feet swell, rib cage expands and you can't do anything but seethe angrily when people comment on your changing body.  The only perk of pregnancy is that you can get away doing as little as possible. It has been months since I've carried anything or done any household chore. Oh and the other perk is that you have healthy, lustrous hair. My hair has never looked ths good. There are also moments of pure joy. Like the time you see a kidney bean which is flickering on the screen or a baby in all its glory in a 3D ultrasound or the first time you realise that the funny sensation in your belly is the baby( in my case babies) kicking. 

It also has to be said that I'm one of the lucky twin moms. My twins have measured right on track, except for the last 4 weeks. My BP has been perfect and there has been no sign of gestational diabetes. More importantly, I haven't been put on bed rest. Hats off to all moms who are are put on bed rest and still manage to remain sane. And while we are at it, double the hats off to moms of triplets and high order multiples. I just don't know how you did it. 

P.S This was meant to be posted in September 2016. 

We are expecting!

I've never been sappy about kids and for the longest time, I wasn't sure if I even wanted a child. But something changed along the way and I'm now pregnant with not one but two little beans! Fingers crossed, by the time October rolls in, J and I will be parents to two healthy babes.

We are excited. I'm so ready to pop them out right now despite my anxiety over being a good mom and managing two babies at the same time. One doctor gleefully told me- your situation resembles that of a woman pregnant with a single child in the third trimester. This was when I was just 5 months pregnant. So, for all practical purposes, I've been in the third trimester for the majority of my pregnancy! And as any woman who's ever had a child will testify, third trimester is a stinking hellhole.

J and I continue to squabble over names. If we agree on a name, we squabble over the spelling. And the way we end our squabbles is by resorting to name calling. Just one of the many things we will have to change once the babies are here! 

Half empty or half full...?

It was exactly a month back that I packed up my bags and moved to Kuala Lumpur. J (my husband) was offered a great opportunity with a Malaysian bank and after years of living in Gurgaon and working with the same company, life had become dull and predictable. We have taken a leap into the great unknown as countless others have done. We got rid of our furniture, packed away our belongings, settled financial matters, bid farewell to our relatives and friends and moved to Malaysia. 

I had a vague sense of what it would feel like to live in another country. But no matter how much you read and talk to people, nothing prepares you for the move. This country is familiar (how I would hate to live in a place where people didn't even vaguely resemble me; think Sweden and the like) and maddening (Malaysians need to be educated on the benefits of vegetarianism and unrefined, whole grains) 

While J has immersed himself in his work, I have decided to take a break from work. For a year or so, this is what I wanted. I was stuck in a dead end job that didn't interest me and longed for a different routine. And boy, have I got it! Yes, there are times when I miss not going to work everyday and that feeling of security that I'll have a paycheck at the end of the month.  Yes, I do get nervous at the prospect that everything that I have learnt and achieved in the last 8 odd years will go down the crap hole if I continue to be jobless. Yes, I miss the banal conversations with my colleagues and observing all the politics that gets played out between people at all levels. 

I'm reminded of a line from a movie that I watched many years ago (don't remember the name)

"Don't be afraid to die, be afraid of living an unlived life" 

For the first time in my life, the plan isn't all that clear. The future is vague, but the possibilities are many. To live in the present, isn't that what happiness is about? 

What a body!

Did you see Bhaag Milkha Bhaag? Did you? Did you? 

If you haven’t, you must see it. It is awesome. Yes, it could have been shorter and Sonam Kapoor’s role could have been eliminated. Let’s not get picky, ok? It is one of the best Bollywood movies to come out in a long long time.

Farhan Akhtar’s depiction of Milha Singh is award worthy. His physical transformation is incredible. I got jitters as he transformed from a lean runner to a muscular world class athelete whilst skipping to the rock version of the song Bhaag Milkha. What a body, I whispered to my equally transfixed husband. I love Farhan Akhar. He’s supremely talented and thanks to him, hotness quotient of turbaned Sikhs has gone up ten-folds (in my eyes)

The movie is inspiring. My husband and I've vowed to devote ourselves to improving our fitness. He’s been working out in the gym. I've been going for walks and short spurts of running.  This translates into 15 seconds of jogging before my lungs collapse.

P.S. Spell check suggest that I should replace Farhan by Farmhand. I thought you should know.  

A beginning

In the beginning, there was a girl. Head strong and full of dreams. Dreams of becoming an actress ( Chitrahaar on DD would bring a huge smile on her face), a teacher (since her mother was one) or a beauty salon owner ( fascinating place with colorful bottles and jars) She played in the sand, dragged her stuffed toys all over the house, loved the wind in her hair as she coasted along the Delhi roads in her father's scooter.   She had a best friend who was like her and yet different. They were inseparable and their parents wished that they would widen their friend circle. She loved food- cakes, ice cream, chilli garlic noodles from Golden Dragon, pizzas from Nirulas. She fought with her grandmother (Why, you may ask. That's a story for later) She had smooth silky hair, big eyes and a toothy smile. She was tubby much to her parents' dismay. She loved taking long showers and imagined herself either as a voluptuous actress in a rain dance or as a blonde haired teenager water skiing in a town called Summerdale. She followed the tales of Archie and the gang. She loved to read. It began with the Famous Five and the Secret Garden, and soon she moved to Sidney Sheldon and the wonderful novels written by English writers of the 18th and 19th century. Her favourite subjects in school were English and Geography. She loved acting in school plays until she became painfully aware of her tubby figure. She was rude and pushy, since her always got her way at home. Her mother and father doted on her. Her grandfather adored her and wished that she would visit him more.

This is her story. Of what is. Of what could be.