Friday, 6 September 2013

Strange and funny things (episode 1)

I've been working for the last 8 years (wasting my life in a line that doesn't excite me but more on that in another post) and have seen a lot of strange and funny things (henceforth referred as SFT) 

SFT No 1. The five day week is a myth. If you work in a place that gives you the weekends off, you must know that the work week is actually 3.5 days. The remaining 1.5 day(s) is spent in finalizing the restaurant for Friday lunch with your colleagues, searching for deals on Groupon/Snapdeal and planning the plan for the weekend in order to answer Monday morning queries on weekend happenings. And most importantly, this is when you get really creative and push back work to the next week (my favourite- let’s think about the approach)
On the other hand, if your work place has a 6 day work week, this rule doesn’t apply. You are screwed. Good luck.

SFT No 2. Outings with team are a complex set of dance steps if you work in a place that has a hierarchy. So you have managers, directors, business analysts, system analysts etc who got out for lunch. Observe the complex maneuvering that happens as you reach the car parking. Glances are exchanged and business analysts, system analysts and assistant managers will furtively move in a pack until there appears a natural division- managers, directors etc are packed off in one car and everyone else in another car. The same is repeated when you are being seated at your table in restaurant.

SFT No 3. The number of years you've worked is positively correlated with your dependence on certain catch phrases- dig deeper, divide and conquer, low hanging fruits, that’s what the data shows, going forward etc. The phrases, while just a couple of words, contain a whole world of meaning. For instance, if someone tells you to dig deeper, it means that what you've done so far is total crap. Going forward means that your boss has screwed up and is positioning the mistakes as learnings for the future. (another catch phrase since there is no word in the dictionary such as learnings!) 


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